


things that go bump in the night

by mothraesthetic (burritosong)



Series: yakulev week 2015 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Camping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4510641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burritosong/pseuds/mothraesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unfortunate camping trip with the Haibas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things that go bump in the night

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for yakulev week 2015, day one: travel but I felt like there wasn't enough travel in it. There wa, however, plenty of family stuff I felt, so repurposed it for day four

Yaku has made a mistake. He can tell that as soon as the van stops. He has made a mistake, and he must go away from this place.

Now.

"I change my mind," he says, as everyone else piles out of the van. "I change my mind. I don't want to go camping with your family. Go on without me."

Lev looks at him quite seriously, mouth pursed slightly in confusion. "But Yaku-san, we're already here."

Yaku clutches desperately at his seat belt, still securely fastened across his chest. "Just leave me the keys. I can drive home. Or don't. Kuroo will get me. I'll just call him and you can keep the keys."

Lev bites his lip and looks at him with what can only be pity. "There's no cell service out here," he says, as easily as if he was reporting a sunny day.

Yaku screams.

It takes Lev an hour to coax Yaku out of the van. As soon as he's out, Dina makes it known that she has no intention of ever letting him live it down.

He immediately turns back around and gets back in the van.

This time, it only takes Lev twenty-five minutes to convince him to come out (with the help of his mother's cookies).

Yaku climbs out of the van for a second time and looks around forlornly, ignoring the cookie in his hand.

He really doesn't know what he was expecting, but Kuroo and Kai's cackling when he informed them that he was going camping with Lev and his family probably should have tipped him off.

Well, no, that's a lie. He knows what he was expecting. He had imagined a cabin overlooking a clear, sparkling lake, over which jet skis happily zoomed. Most importantly, the cabin had air conditioning, beds, and indoor plumbing.

Instead, he's faced with dirt. Dirt, and a little bit of grass. He doesn't even see a toilet anywhere.

He can't hide his distress, and a very sad, distressed whimper escapes from his throat.

Dina immediately bursts into laughter, doubled over with tears streaming from her eyes.

"I can't stay here," he says.

The Haibas (minus Dina, who is too busy laughing at him) ignore him and continue to unpack.

"I can't stay here," he repeats. "I need electricity. I need air conditioning. I need a bed."

"We brought an extra sleeping bag for you!" Lev says cheerily. "I told you not to worry about bringing anything!"

"Wifi," Yaku says forlornly, and tries to console himself with the fact that it can't possibly get any worse.

Which, of course, means that it gets worse.

"Lev," Yaku whispers at night, while lying on the cold, hard ground in his borrowed sleeping bag that smells of moth balls and the Haiba house, "Where's the toilet?"

"I showed you where it is earlier." Lev's always been the type to go to bed early, and his reply is snappish for want of sleep.

"I mean the other toilet." The other, closer toilet that has actual plumbing rather than just being a hole in the ground, he thinks. It has to exist. He _needs_ it to exist.

"Why would you want the other toilet? It's farther."

Yaku squeezes down into his sleeping bag, pulling it over his head, and contemplates just peeing on himself. But lying in a puddle of his own urine just every so slightly outranks trekking in the dark animal infested forest to the far away outhouse on the list of things he doesn't want to do, so he with a sigh he kicks his way out of the sleeping bag.

Loudly.

Because if he's not going to be getting any sleep, then Lev won't either.

"How am I supposed to find it in the dark?"

Lev answers by shoving a flashlight at Yaku, before rolling over and (from the sound of it) putting his pillow over his head.

Yaku sighs and puts on his shoes and pulls a jacket over his pajamas. He takes his phone with him, because even though he can't use it to call for help, he figures he can throw it at any attacking bears and buy himself some time to escape.

As he starts down what he thinks is the right path, he notices a light ahead. Unless bears have learned how to build flashlights out of rocks and twigs, he's most likely about to be killed.

The light starts moving towards him.

He is definitely about to be killed.

He considers trying to run back to camp, but decides that if he's going to die then the least he can do is not lead his murderer straight to the sleeping Haibas.

He lets out a breath and hefts his phone up, wishing his phone was bigger and determined to put up a fight. He flicks his flashlight off, hoping to catch his would-be murderer by surprise.

The light nears him and he closes his eyes for a moment to make his peace. Before he's done and able to open his eyes, a light shines in his face.

"Yaku?"

He opens his eyes and immediately curses because there's a flashlight shining right at him.

_"Dina?"_

"What are you doing standing in the dark?"

"Why are you shining your flashlight in my face?"

"I wouldn't have to shine my flashlight in your face if you had yours on."

"I wasn't going to let you murder me without a fight."

"What?"

Yaku huffs and turns his flashlight back on. "I might have thought you were a murderer," he admits.

Dina snorts. "I don't hate you that much."

"I know."

"Yet."

They stand there staring at each other, silent save for the sounds of the night creatures attending their business, until Dina laughs.

"I was headed to the toilet, when I saw your light. Walk with me, I don't think my brother will forgive me if I let you wander off and you get lost—or murdered."

"Shut up, it was a valid concern," Yaku hisses, but he follows her when she turns and starts back down the path.

They reach the toilets, a set of four glorified outhouses, and Yaku pauses as Dina tromps forward to open the door of one of them.

When she realizes Yaku hasn't moved, she sighs and turns back toward him.

"What is it now? I have to pee."

Yaku grinds his teeth and tries to think of a way to explain without making himself sound like a dumb city boy stuck in the woods.

"What if there's a bear?"

Dina stares at him, and while he can't quite make out her expression in the dark, he thinks she might be looking at him incredulously.

Well, failed step one.

"A bear," she says, sounding equal parts disbelief and amusement.

"Yeah," he says, "a bear." But even as it comes out of his mouth he realizes exactly how ridiculous he sounds. The little outhouses are fairly small. A bear most likely couldn't fit in one. "Or maybe hiding behind," he amends.

"Well do you want me to check for you?" Dina asks.

Yaku knows she's being sarcastic, but he can't stop himself from saying, "Yes please."

Dina releases a breath. "Fine," she says. "I will check for bears."

"You don't have to," Yaku insists, but his words are lost in the loud racket Dina is making, slamming each door open and shut and calling out announcements of safety.

She walks around the outhouses, stomping her feet loudly and calling out a warning to any bears that might be lingering.

"You dumb bears better run because I'm tired and I have to pee and if you're in my way I'm going to pee all over you."

Yaku laughs despite himself.

Dina appears from behind the toilets. "All clear. No bears," she promises.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. I'm used to it from Lev. Although the last time I had to check for bears he was five, and was worried that the bears might be trapped inside and scared and he wanted me to rescue them."

Yaku's grateful for the darkness hiding his blush. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Dina snorts and reaches over to ruffle his hear. "No problem, city boy. I won't even mention it to anyone. Now can I please pee?"

Yaku groans, and she takes it as permission that she can finally pee in peace.

He knows there aren't any bears around, but that still doesn't stop Yaku from going into the middle toilet.

When he emerges, it takes him a moment to find Dina. She's several meters away, crouched on top of a rock that's just the wrong size to sit on, a strange glow illuminating her face. As he nears her, he realizes she's using her phone.

"What the hell, I thought there wasn't any cell service out here?"

Dina grins smugly at him.

"I present to you, the sole place in this entire camp with reception."

Yaku pulls his phone out of his pocket and stares at it uncomprehendingly as it still announces he lacks service.

"I thought you said there was service here?"

"You have terrible listening skills. I said _this_ is the place reception. Right here. On top of this rock. Not over there next to the rock."

Yaku shoves his phone over the rock and frowns as it still reports no service.

Dina sighs and grabs his wrist, moving his hand so it's next to hers. The position leaves Yaku bent over awkwardly, but Dina isn't wrong. There's service.

"Oh my god."

"Exactly." Dina looks back to her phone. "Dad's whole family bonding away from technology thing is great in theory, but sometimes you just need a break from all the roughing it." She looks back up at Yaku, expression sharp. "This is me and Anton's secret place, no one else knows about it. So no telling anyone about it—not even Lev—okay?"

Yaku's surprised. He and Dina aren't close, and it's only recently that he's realized she doesn't outright hate him, and he never expected her to share any sort of secret with him.

"I won't tell anyone," he promises, the weight of their new bond sitting comfortably on his shoulders.

Yaku's phone is chiming, delayed alerts and notifications finally rolling in, including a series of messages from Kuroo concerned about the state of Yaku's well-being.

 _I'm fine there's just no reception_ , Yaku types, then erases it.

 _No reception had to pee in an outhouse there are Bears_ , he sends instead.

Kuroo's response comes almost immediately. _Need me to get you?_

Yaku wants to be insulted by Kuroo's lack of belief in him, but considering that he had begged Dina to protect him from bears just minutes ago, he can understand it. He was probably the only one who didn't see this coming.

_You don't have to. Call you when I get back._

He and Dina linger for a while, hunched over in awkward positions and silently clicking through messages and apps, before returning to camp.

When he climbs back into the tent, Lev is sitting up wide awake.

"Where have you been? I was getting worried."

"I ran into Dina and we ended up talking and just lost track of time," Yaku says. It's close enough to the truth that he doesn't feel bad about the lie by omission about Dina's super secret cell phone spot. "Why are you up?"

"I felt bad for snapping at you," Lev admits. "So I stayed up so I could apologize."

Yaku grins even though he knows Lev can't see it. Even when he's grouchy at one a.m., Lev's heart is still ten sizes too big for his own good. "You didn't have to. I know you didn't mean it.

"Still," Lev says, "I owe you an apology."

Suddenly, his hand is on Yaku's thigh, and Yaku has a very good idea of exactly what kind of apology Lev has in mind. As on board as he is with it, he doubts very much that the tents are soundproof, and the fact that they're surrounded by Lev's entire family puts a fairly firm stopper on his libido.

He slaps Lev's hand away.

"Lev! You're family is all around us. They'll _hear_."

"So?" Lev asks nonplussed. "We can be quiet."

His fingers play at the waist of Yaku's pants, and Yaku can feel himself giving in against his better judgement.

"I promise I'll be fast," Lev says.

Yaku sighs, feeling what little resolve he had crumble, and pushes Lev's hands away before shifting so he can pull his pants and underwear down in one go.

True to his word, Lev's fast, skipping over all of his favorite foreplay in exchange for licking into Yaku without preamble.

The next morning, Yaku tries to ignore the way the conversation seems to die off suddenly when he and lev emerge from their tent. He's almost managed to convince himself that it's all in his head when Dina sidles up to him and throws an arm around his shoulders.

"You know these tents aren't soundproof, right?"

She walks off cackling, leaving Yaku to stare at her retreating back in red-faced mortification.


End file.
